If only I could hold cameras instead of syringes; read a script instead of a doctor’s order sheet; see my name in the credits instead of seeing it in a patient’s assignment sheet; narrate beautiful stories instead of narrating incident reports. If only I could do what I love instead of what I am required to. If only dreams could be more realistic than this bitter reality. Maybe my small world will be less dark; less dramatic; less regretful. If only.